The Alphabet Project, Part 6 - "Exhibition"

Hello there. This one came to me last night as I was trying to get to sleep...

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Everyone told me I should try it, but to be honest I couldn't see the point in "Facebook". Friends showed me the site, and how they had uploaded countless photographs, set their statuses to document their every movement, and passed comment on the activities of one another, but I found it all rather inane.

Naturally they all protested, telling me I was missing out, and that it was "fun" (that awful catch-all term for all trivial, mindless activities, it seems) but I resisted. Why, I asked, would anyone want to see your life documented in such detail? Why would anyone really be interested in the minutiae of their life? What was it that suddenly made so many people feel the need to make such an exhibition of themselves? I found myself pondering this one, and eventually decided to join their little group, albeit in my own way. If they wanted me to make an exhibition of myself then I would do just that.

The turnstile was the first thing I had made, followed by the signs, and I bought several sections of red velvet rope, along with their chrome supports. After a little cajoling my family agreed to help, and I asked them to bring their own chairs. I sat at my computer and wrote numerous labels, which I printed. I sent my friends and colleagues a round-robin email, specifying the address and the date, and set about my task.

I turned my home into a museum devoted to myself. Inside the front door I installed the turnstile, and the ropes guided visitors from room to room. A member of my family sat inside each, there to answer questions ("The sofa? 2003, I think, from DFS,") and ensure that nothing was stolen or damaged. Some rooms were roped off, "Private - Staff Only" labels affixed to the doors. I placed labels next to items of furniture and pictures, detailing their provenance ("Tennis Girl, Athena, 1977"), and by the front door I sited a plastic holder containing some booklets I had written, detailing my life story, likes and dislikes, and so on. My friends wanted me to make an exhibition of myself and I had done just that, in a very literal sense.

Sadly, nobody came.

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Written by Peter Lee in Urmston, Tuesday 21st - Wednesday 22nd December 2010.
(C) 2010 Peter Lee. A Nasal Hair Production.